Last night I watched a film about the Rwandan genocide in 1994. It started out as some kind of military coup, but then everyone joined in, all the Hutu people just began massacring all the Tutsi people. It would be like, if everyone in UK were really racist and everyone hated Muslims, despised and wished to be rid of them.

Imagine if everyone in Uk who wasn’t Muslim, after some behind the scenes covert planning, making lists of every Muslim family in the country, suddenly one day went out with machetes and their list and began systematically massacring all the Muslims….the plan being to keep going till there wasn’t one left alive.

The story focused on this one school in a city in Rwanda where hundreds of Tutsi people had gone for safety because UN soldiers were there and they thought they would protect them. What was interesting was the way they showed the change in people as the day came when the Hutu began the killing.

Missionary workers at the school who regularly shopped at Hutu shops and worked with Hutu people, suddenly experienced this new side to people they’d never seen before. A really dark side. Like the Hutu people’s usual friendly disposition was some kind of mask they could take off at will and suddenly now they were not only displaying extreme racism toward the Tutsi, but there was something else about them too. Something which reminded me about non vegans.

Something about the expression on their faces, of a person who knows they’ve chosen the dark side, knows they are doing wrong, but are going to do it anyway, no matter what you say.

They were not only massacring and committing heinous atrocities of violence and cruelty, but they were enjoying it, the belligerence, displaying callous cackling laughter in the face of a sincere missionary who just stared at them from a place of complete sanity amongst the lunacy. They loathed the missionary’s ‘‘goodness’’, they laughed at it. Swung their machetes over piles of dead bodies and laughed in the face of goodness.

Yes… really, very little difference between them and a belligerent non vegan.

The Dream



“That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

George Carlin

I just realized the last few years I’ve been mapping out hell. Cataloguing the atrocities whilst almost everyone remains in the consensus trance of normal, seeing none of it. I was in that trance too, the dream…we all fell for that one to a large extent, even if we were fighting against it and always seeking deeper truths. Nobody escaped the saturation of our consciousness with ‘the dream’.

When I first saw, I woke up. I remember the first few days walking around with this horror inside me and the overwhelming urge to tell everyone I encountered, but looking at everyone and seeing so clearly they were in this trance of normal. Normal being this really small worldview only really centred on our personal concerns, with only the vaguest understanding, hints we pay little attention to, of what’s actually going on beyond our personal world.

But when you wake up to care about the world beyond your small social circle, really care, then you see we are all in hell.

I mean, hundreds of billions of animals are being hyper confined, mutilated, raped, having their babies stolen, are brutally slaughtered, terrified and neglected throughout their whole lives, every year, for humans pleasure, habit or convenience.

That’s reality. That and the fact that half of the humans on the earth’s lives are based in the consumption not only of the tortured animals, but also in the enslavement and persecution of the other half of the world. One half lives lives of consumption, whilst the other half labor under brutal oppressive regimes, so that companies in the west get better profits…and westerners get better bargains.

Reality is the earth is being catastrophically demolished, an acre per second of rainforest filled with life is burnt to the ground to graze intentionally bred animals or grow crops to feed them for the meat and dairy industry. Our oceans so polluted with toxic waste from the farms and abattoirs that large dead zones are appearing where nothing can live or grow.

When most humans main activity is gorging on the tortured flesh or stolen babies milk of others, then the people who are doing the killing and baby stealing for them, who are funded with their every purchase, these are the people going to grow richest in the world.

So now we also have psychopaths who are the richest most influential people in the world, all of their actions driven and paid for, by people who are…. living ‘the dream’.

Walking The Talk


Its astounding the frequency with which non vegans continually refer to their abuse of other species without even realizing they’re doing it. Usually to describe how affronted they are that someone treated them like they were ‘nothing more than an animal’ – how hard they were worked, how little they were respected, how terrible the conditions they were forced to endure, how insignificant their soul or lives were to their abuser. Yet they talk about it as if there is no problem with abusing animals that way, their only problem is that they themselves are being treated the way they treat animals!

flogging a dead horse
straw that broke the camel’s back
kill two birds with one stone
letting the cat out of the bag

I can’t think of the other commonly used metaphors just now, but usually non vegans make a reference to one of them or just have to mention what they ate, what they are going to eat, their nice new leather bag or shoes. Whatever it is, animal abuse references are in almost everything they say.

In all the ‘truth movement’ videos I’ve watched, or the ‘occupy movement’ footage I notice that I am all caught up listening to what is being said then suddenly out of the blue is this one word or whole sentence metaphor which refers to their own abuse of animals. In that moment my own mind is flooded with the greatest horror, my heart breaking for the hundreds of billions of animals in living hell right now, suffering like no human ever has… these people’s hands. Takes me a good few minutes further in their talk or video to even resume fully listening because part of me is so revolted, so outraged, that I’m listening to a person who couldn’t care less about their own tortured victims and here they are with ‘The cheek of the Devil’ complaining they’re beginning to be treated the very way they treat their victims.

As I face this almost universal schism this complete lack of concern for the horrific suffering of animals in the vast majority of the human population….I cannot help but take some comfort from the knowledge that they have no solution to their own situation, their own abuse, because they are so unwilling to look at the root cause of the problem. The solution, ironically, is staring up at them, is right there on their plates, but they’re too damned greedy and uncaring to see it.

Whilst for humans in their self preoccupation their own story is the only one they talk or think about…to any off planet observer the only story on earth which matters….is the one where 7 billion souls, tortured and killed hundreds of billions of other souls every year, totally trashing the earth in the damage their torture and abuse industries caused, until there was no life on earth left for them to torture and kill.

Till they were in fact. ‘Dead as dodos.’


Waking Up


I’ve been watching David Icke videos and exploring the fascinating links and articles on his website to other free media, genuinely investigative journalists speaking about what’s actually going on behind the mainstream screen of brainwashing media.

Its made me realize though quite how brainwashed people are and recognize the same mechanisms of denial people use to deny the animals that they use to deny anything out of the ordinary, outside the box of what they’ve been taught to believe.

David Icke is famous in UK for being a TV presenter who in the early 90’s went a bit nuts….at least, that was the public opinion of him. He was so seen as crazy for the things he was saying that as he describes in this interview below, he couldn’t walk down the street or go in a bar without literally everyone laughing at him and hurling abuse for years afterwards. His name was synonymous with crazy for a long time in the minds of many people in UK.

Yet all he’d done was go on public television on a popular talk show and begin sharing about the Spiritual awakening he was having. He was beginning to wake up to the way we are being intentionally controlled, our consciousness entrained, literally mind controlled by those who seek to have power over the masses, who have control of the mainstream media and our education system and have implemented ideas about who and what we are which are very limited. They’ve deliberately induced a state of consciousness centered on obeying authority, compliance, consumption, apathy, more consumption.

Its more than twenty years later now and much of what David Icke said back then has turned out to be true, more and more people are waking up spiritually and seeing the evil elite who have this agenda of control and power, who are war mongering their way around the world and gradually establishing right before our eyes – if we let them – an Orwellian police state.

But the ironic thing is that even people in the free media and truth movement even David Icke who has lots of the pieces of the puzzle in place who see we are programmed to be disconnected from Spirit and our true selves… do not see that the programming is in our food. The killing of other species is the very way we are disconnected from our hearts and Spirit and is the root source of living in this heartless mindless mode of apathetic consumption, unconsciously complicit with the system of violent exploitation.

Its so odd and surreal the way these truth movement gurus, or those who claim to care about the environment, or even people who run cat and dog rescue shelters who claim to be animal lovers, or the spiritual movement who claim to be exploring ‘consciousness’ and the therapy movement who claim to care…. are unwilling or perhaps unable to see their own violence to animals and destruction of the earth the complete lack of care or consciousness in their daily horrific abuse of other species.

I feel quite hopeful though. These people were not even awake in the ways they are awake twenty years ago… so many people have started to care, to want to be conscious, to be environmentally concerned and kind to animals.

SURELY… they’ll see the glaring hypocrisy of their not being vegan…soon.

What David Icke and the other truth movement journalists have to say is so important though. Its fascinating to see what is truly going on behind mainstream media and what we’ve been told to believe is reality and is as important a clue and piece of the puzzle for vegans to see as veganism is for the truth movement to see.

I feel sure we all just need to wake to one another’s pieces of the puzzle and it will all fall into place and this nightmare on earth end once and for all as we all wake up and stop living in alignment with the evil power and control agenda.



A most dearly beloved cat friend died recently and it so broke my heart that it brought me back to my heart. For a short time the overwhelming pain and grief of this personal loss radically altered my state of consciousness. He was all that mattered. I wanted to go with him, wanted to give up this body and travel with him into Spirit so much. His sudden, so complete absence, the loss of his presence is like the sun has gone out in my world.

His death brought me into my heart into a place where all the anger at people went away and I didn’t want to leave that place of love, fall into anger and outrage again with people. Surely that’s not right, surely all people are just staving off emotional pain and that is why they aren’t conscious, why they won’t open up and care about animals, its too painful for them. As I was in so much pain it suddenly seemed to throw a light on the fact that life is pain, most of the time, and how much pain we can bear seems to define how conscious we are. I realized I’d lost all faith in people’s essential goodness and innocence, that we are all doing our best in a painful world. All feeling as much as we can, being as conscious as we can of the suffering we might cause others or the damage we might do in this world.

But its really hard, to stay in that heart place and continue to believe that about people. The surface they show is so cold, so callous, so completely devoid of caring that its hard to imagine its just a front, protecting a person who cares more than they can even dare feel underneath.

Today my shopping bags arrived from The Vegan Society, bright shocking luminous dayglo colors, one pink, one orange, with the word and symbol ‘The Vegan Society’ on the side in big letters.

Just in case the person in front of me who was buying a steak pie didn’t see the bag, I draped it pointedly over my shopping. She at least, had the decency to look guilty, then asked in a small voice for… ‘… er … just one of the small sandwich bags’. So she registered for a moment that someone had pointed out she normally couldn’t care less about the animals choking on plastic bags in the ocean or the earth being destroyed… as well, I hope, as reflects for a moment about the cow she just paid to have tortured and killed for her pleasure comfort and convenience.

But the woman behind me when it came her turn, when the assistant asked her would she like a carrier bag…(as all assistants have been told to ask…to point out to the couldn’t give a fuck public that they are in fact, choosing to destroy the world with every damned bag they use) ….still, true to human form, the woman behind me said loudly, confidently and clearly. ‘Yes please.’

In her tone was such entitlement. ‘I’m entitled!’ She seemed to say. I shall say yes to a plastic carrier bag in every shop and never bring my own reusable ones….. I shall fill my bags with all the tortured animals I like… I’m entitled.’

Its that sense of arrogant entitlement humans have which seems so cold, so callous. and truly, the root of all evil.

Yes you have the most physical power in this world and as you are the most dominant you can choose to be as mean as you like. Legally, in this sick cruel world of violent exploitation, you have the right to torture and kill and destroy as much as you like.

But morally, nobody has any right to inflict totally unnecessary suffering and death for their own personal gain. Morally any truly caring soul surely knows life isn’t some joyride here just for us, to see all other life and the planet itself as just commodities we can use and destroy with no thought to the suffering and destruction we cause.

I just don’t buy it… this ‘normal’ careless attitude. Its not normal. Its the cruelest we could possibly be and we may not be able to stop people, but we can always, everyday, in as many ways as we can, point to the cruelty, bring it to their awareness, speak, carry, wear the voice of the animals, who themselves are so locked up in darkness their voice is never heard.


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My darling Binksy, has gone to heaven.  We’re all so sad.  

His purr is gone.  I keep wandering around the flat in a daze, doing things to take my mind off it, then a moment later it hits me again…and again and again… he’s gone.  All the love I felt for his physical presence is one big gaping hole, spiritually his memory is inside me and I will always feel him in my heart, but physically… he’s so gone.  

I just lay down on the bed where his body would usually lay next to mine and the silence made me realize he purred nearly all the time he was close.  He’d sleep quietly sometimes of course, but when I realized his purr was gone, it feels like he purred constantly.  None of the other cats do that.  But Binksy was like the sun in a cat, one big warm ever shining purr. He wasn’t purring this morning when he was ill, but just before we went to the vet, in his last half hour of life, he mustered up this faint purr for a whole half hour.  

People look down on animals as if they are somehow less intelligent, but the intelligence, the conscious awareness in Binksy’s eyes was way more intensely present and aware than humans.  All cats are.  They may not speak our language but they know what’s going on inside us, they can feel US beyond all the thinking and ideas, the deepest soul us and they respond, they talk, with their eyes, their actions, their quietly emanating presence and subtle ways.  They understand, accept, comfort with their beingness.  Whilst they cannot smile they have the funniest sense of humor which they manage to communicate whenever it seems I’m sharp enough to ‘get it’.  Cats and all animals, when you listen to their soul, see and feel their souls, are far more advanced spiritually than human souls.  

Our intellect seems to have deadened our soul.  Our capacity for thinking has rendered us spiritually stupid.  Animals can help us find our way back to our souls.  At least that is what they teach me.  As i let go of my dumb arrogance and begin to tune into higher spiritual faculties like empathy compassion and intuition in order to feel and see their soul, that’s what all animals teach me more everyday.  They literally wake us up.  If we choose to open our hearts and let them.  

I always feel as though I’m trying to enter fully into the moment in full awareness to catch up with an animal’s consciousness.  Its like I have to continually bring myself back from this silly racing thoughts through my head state, to bring myself into the moment, be still and open and then I can begin to glimpse their incredible souls.  

Its just so different now he’s gone.  I’ve forced myself to will his soul to fly free and not be tethered by my sadness and loss, and reminded myself to be happy for him to be in a better place and to be glad he’d left this old aching body behind.  His body just slowly wore out.  He had a heart condition underlying the symptoms which showed today, he’d not looked well but been eating and purring well enough.  Just the last few weeks I kept thinking maybe I should take him to the vet.  But kind of knew the day would come where he would not eat and show some sign of unwellness, then it would be time.  I just knew he was going soon.  I sensed it and he sensed it and for months we’ve been spiritually and physically hugging each other so close.  My soul was always saying quietly… ‘Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou…’ So grateful for his presence.  But it was only just now when I noticed his purr was ever present, that it dawned on me that he had been purring his gratitude back to me too.

Every single animal soul in this world so precious.  How odd that people can feel this for their pets and yet when you tell them about the horror chambers of the animals abused for food they feel nothing.  Odd how people can sympathize when you lose a pet, and they show and feel real care and concern…they see your pain about the loss of your pet.  But if you show pain for any other animal in captivity who is actually being tortured…they show no sign of sympathy for my grief for them. 

 Is it a trance of normal…as someone said recently… I suddenly wonder.  Yes, maybe it really is an actual hypnotic trance people are in.  But they don’t look hypnotized when you ask them about those animals, they look shifty, guilty, become belligerent and defensive.  Not signs of someone in a hypnotic trance.





I’m sitting here next to my oldest cat, Binksy, who is so very old and I woke up this morning to find him really not well. He’s looked more and more like soon it will be his time to leave this earth for awhile. Still eating and drinking ok, but just his eyes have grown larger in a body which has grown gaunt with age. Almost the whole time I’m awake or in the house, he sits on my knee or right by my leg with his head resting on my knee. Both of us have known these are our last months together and we’ve spent every moment giving each other as much love as we can.

Just last night I said to him how I’m so grateful, so honored to have been this close to him, to have had this precious closeness with his soul. As I sit here now, he’s been sick and had a diarrhea all over in the night, we’re waiting to go to the vets and he’s got this very shallow breathing and a deep heavy sigh every now and again, and his head does this funny little shudder thing. Just old. Just his time. I’ve given him some painkiller and squirted some water in his mouth. But I feel sure when we get to the vets they will recommend putting him to sleep as the kindest thing.

Seems insane to me right now that we do not allow for voluntary euthanasia in humans when they are very sick, obviously dying and in a lot of pain. People say its because it could be abused, like ruthless people could kill their rich relatives off a bit early or whatever. But how ridiculous, if you consider that for a moment. A doctor would have to confirm they were truly inevitably dying anyway … and you could even set it up so 3 doctors signatures were necessary or whatever… certifying that yes, this person is very ill and if they themselves choose to die to avoid the final terrible pain of life… why shouldn’t they be allowed to? Totally insane. I read somewhere that we live in a culture obsessively in denial about death, where the entire focus of the medical profession is to keep everyone alive at whatever cost to them. I know one man for instance, an acquaintance, who had some kind of illness where he went into a coma 5 years ago…and he’s still there, in that coma, years later….being drip fed by machines. Crazy!

But as I sit here next to my beloved, remembering how we met, all the last five years we spent together, how precious Binksy’s soul is, how wise, sensitive and amazing he is… I think that every single soul of every animal, every calf, cow, chick, hen, lamb, sheep, goat, pig… all of them, every single one of them, in the factory farm hell or slaughterhouse brutally slain, and tortured first if they dare fight back and slow down the kill line, in the vivisection nightmare laboratories we inflict on them….every single soul is as precious and sacred as unique a personality and being as any human child has ever been.

For anyone to deny that… ok we didn’t know…but to continue to deny that to gorge on their flesh, to support industries run by psychopaths, to steal and kill their babies so we can steal their babies milk… is as evil as anything evil ever happened on this earth before.

And come to think of it, a species who are insane enough to do that, deserve to have a culture where, when they themselves are really ill, dying and in pain, nobody is allowed to let them die peacefully via euthanasia.

A species who could do that deserve to die in some measure of the pain and suffering they spent their whole lives inflicting onto others.